Have you ever wanted something to go one way and it took a total lefty on you??? Well, I know we all have and that my friend is an expectation on our part. Lets use our children for example:
You expect them to know to keep there bathroom clean, however it takes you telling them over and over again to clean it. Husbands: We expect them to know what ticks us off or makes us happy especially if you have been together forever. Well, not so true. Either they pay no attention to detail or they act like they have no clue.
Then we have expectations on ourselves to live up to what we in our minds think we should do or be .... Be the best at everything, parent, wife, friend...We put pressure on ourselves to do these things, or atleast I do. I try to be the best parent I can be or know how to, I try to be a good wife, I try to be a good friend. There are alot of times I worry about stuff I probably should not worry about. "Did I sound mean when I was talking to that person:, "Did I say the right thing to that person", "Did I respond correctly when talking to my child?", "Was I paying close enough attention when she was talking to me?". I expect myself to respond, listen and be there for people and then I will replay the conversation back in my head to make sure I said the right thing. I know maybe that is OCD and a completely different subject, but it is expectations I put on myself.
Okay, So how do we overcome these things? Or how do I overcome these things??? First, there must be medication, hee hee :) No, just kidding. I have tried to lower my expectations or to just not have any. So what do I mean? Example: Erin has been forgetting her reading book at school so I explain to her what I expect of her...She has still been forgetting it so, I just gave her the I dont care routine. You can forget your book I dont care and you can repeat the 3rd grade. I dont care. Remember, Erin is real sensitive and did not take that well. She has not forgot her book again. So instead of me getting angry because I expect her to know better and remember these things. I just blew it off and guess what it worked. :)
Again, Have you ever anticipated meeting someone for the first time and you have an expectation on how they are going to be, hoitie toitie or what not? I worry that because of my expectation of someone I will not be able to see them for who they may be. They could be the sweetest person in the world, however my expectation of them may be something completely different. How do you get over that one? Have not figured that out yet. Any suggestions?
Okay, I could go on for days and I know you have better things to do. So enjoy your Friday and I will jump on my next subject soon.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
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2 comments:
I do that too when meeting people, and sometimes it's impossible for me to let them be their nice self since I have formed an opinion of them. I guess that's just normal. They are probably doing the same thing too. As I get older, I just don't care. Truly. Girl, you know I used to worry what people thought of me. But when it comes down to it, my husband loves, my kids like me and my besties adore me, and that's all that matters!
Its called assumptions - and we all know what that means. We assume things to be true, whether they are or not. The problem with that is we turn these assumptions into facts (i.e. if I assume my kid will be a trouble maker, guess what...). Only when we really clear our minds of the way we think things, or people, should or shouln't be that we can appreciate the way things, or people truly are. Don't assume the sun will come up tomorrow, just wake up and be thankful that it did. Did that make sense? Oh well, thats my .02
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